CHAPTER 2> SOME CATCHING UP

How crazy would Roran think I was if I told him the truth about that creature following me? He was such a good friend of mine. He was like my elder brother.  And, there was no one else that I could talk to about this. After all, he was into ‘biology’. But right now was definitely not the time. In the back of my mind I seriously wondered how the creature found me. It was still stapled under the wrapper. It couldn’t see me for sure, it had no eyes. Yet somehow it followed me from ‘inside a plastic’. It was either too damn talented or plain spooky. At least one thing I was sure of, that the ‘thing’ wasn’t gonna leave me alone. So I just picked it up and put it in the backseat of my car.

Was it just my imagination or had the creature just grown?

Roran gave me a long side glance for throwing the wrapper in the truck. “I just don’t want to litter the road” I said. “Hey there’s a dustbin right by the gate. I’ll…” “No, it’s fine” I didn’t even let him complete. The journey seemed so short! We were chatting and laughing the entire way. We had a lot to catch up on.

I followed the directions he gave me and reached a row house. He was staying as a paying guest there. Man, he must be making a lot of money to rent a place like this one. His landlord opened the door. He was an old man with no wife or children. That explained why he was so whiny. Before even saying hello, he started rambling about how Roran hadn’t paid attention to him this morning about keeping the place clean. On giving a quite ordinary excuse, the man frowned at us. Roran introduced me by saying “This is Koyna, she’s just like my sister. We’re from the same village.” I might have seen a slight smile on the old man’s face. But then he instantly turned around and went inside.

“Why are you staying with this man? You can easily rent a hotel room! This guy seems a little crazy!” Roran laughed boringly, I’m sure he’d heard a lot of this. He started reciting the sentence like he’d learnt it by heart by now. “He’s not that bad. Plus, the house is great. I love the view and his rates are quite reasonable. Also, he’s so lonely. I might as well give him some company.” Humble, noble Roran. He hadn’t changed a bit.

“Do you remember how we used to play carom when we were little?” I said, more than asked. He instantly lightened up and went in the old man’s room, only to return with an old dusty carom board. “Another reason why I live with him, he was a carom champion in his days!” He winked playfully. “He doesn’t play much now though.”

We went into his room and Roran fetched a dusting cloth. Cleaning it was a really tough task! Once we were done with it, we were all smiles and shines. We started playing the game, chatting like old times and laughing like crazy. A tiny part of me cried for missing those days, missing home. But I was relieved to have someone from home, with me. “What are you researching currently?” I generally asked him. When he didn’t answer, I looked up only to find him confused. “What happened?” I asked him, wondering what had possibly gone wrong.

“I can’t tell you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just can’t tell anyone.” He looked apologetic. At first I considered letting it go, but then considering that I had a creature-secret to tell him, I asked him to trade secrets. Convincing him was rather hard. “Roran, I have to tell you something too. I have a secret, ‘some creature’ stuff and I’m scared of it. I have to tell you but only if you tell me this thing first. Come on. You know I can keep secrets. Remember that time you broke Aunt Talwar’s window??! And then anonymously paid for the damage! And that other time you got beat up by a squirrel!! Man, that was hilarious!! And that other time you kissed Tim and..” “Ok, ok you can keep secrets! I get it!” he said, smiling through the memories. I think he was seriously considering telling me.

His voice grew grave just as his carom pin entered the pocket. He took another shot, but missed it. Then passed me the striker. I acted like I was paying attention to the queen, when infact I was eagerly waiting for him to start. Simply so that he could finish and then I could tell him about the creature. “We’re researching about a foreign being. Something we call twinticles.” “Twinticles? Never heard that before, I exclaimed.” “Like I said, it’s a foreign creature.” Those words got him my attention for real.

He didn’t even pretend to care for the game now. “There is something going on Koyna. Something deadly. Twinticles are creatures that grow to be… twins of some human. They are twisted versions of a human being, or any living being for that matter”. This explanation was not enough for me. It left me more confused. He understood my expression but refused to continue. “It’s all I can tell you right now Koy. And remember, this conversation never happened.” I shook my head seeing the super serious look on his face. I’d momentarily even forgotten about the other weird creature in my truck until  Roran reminded me to tell him my secret now.

Well, Roran hadn’t told me his complete story so I edited mine too. “I’d gone to our village this morning. It’s just two hours from here after all. I saw some creature there. It was scary. We’ll go there sometime and I’ll show you then.” He certainly looked disappointed for such few details, but didn’t push me to say anything further.

We finally changed the topic and finished the game. He won, as usual. And I demanded a victory teat, as usual! We decided to go outside and eat an ice cream, when his landlord, Mr. H (as he preferred it) entered. He gave us a lovely smile and asked me who I was. Maybe he had memory issues. I introduced myself again and this time Mr. H whole heartedly said “You’re welcome to stay here if you like. We have an extra room if you want it”. He looked so loving now. “Uhm no thanks, I have a flat nearby.” I smiled in return and we left the house.

Roran said before I could ask, “he has Alzheimers and some personality conflicts.” That was weird and Roran’s expression confirmed it. Anyway, the sun was setting and I was getting late. “Let’s hurry” I said. We quickly ate my favourite, chocolate ice cream, and then I drove the truck home. As soon as I parked the truck, the horror struck me. I turned behind to see the wafer packet torn up on the back seat. And it was below a circular transparent ball, with water inside it, and a creature. The amoeba that was orange-ish, had turned to skin colour, which now looked like a small foetus. It was mesmerizingly cute, but in a freakish way. I didn’t know whether to be awed or freaked out.

But I definitely didn’t want it in my house. I quickly leapt outside and shut the doors close. I ran up to my room, and quickly drifted to sleep.

CHAPTER 1> THIS IS HOW IT STARTED

I’m Koyna. I lost my parents last year, along with half of my village, in a tragic earthquake incident. Without my parents, I was shattered- not just emotionally but also financially. Some of us who were attending college outside the village, and some of us who were out for work were the only survivors.

I am 21 as of today. I’ve been hunting for a real job for quite some time now. After all, teaching kindergarten in a small town doesn’t promise a comfortable salary. But I still liked it there. I had the qualifications of teaching college students, but I enjoyed teaching my kindergarteners too much. Until, the salary really started giving me goose bumps. I could barely pay the bills and make a living. I had to grow out of my safe cocoon.

Before leaving my house for the interview, I was so filled with doubt, fear and frustration, I decided go visit the land that took my parents away from me. It was sealed after the earthquake, or earth-blast, as the news people called it. I’d gone there to curse it. It was silly, but I needed to do it. Just to get a little peace of mind.

My parents were traders, and often alternately left home and travelled far and wide to trade. Unluckily, they were both home when the ‘earth-blast’ happened. They often told me stories of my village’s history. I never told them how boring it was, simply because it was just so good to hear their voice after so long. Last year, after the incident, it took me a while to realize that I wasn’t going hear their voice ever again.

I reached my old village. The site was sealed, and the rest was abandoned. The piece of land was completely isolated. Just land everywhere, concrete as well as shattered. Some called the accident “rage of the earth”, some called it “haunted land”, or “a natural calamity” or “comeback of nature” or “deadly damned land”. The accident was so lethal that none of the residents had survived it. Many of us had lost our parents, siblings and children. The place reeked. I almost assumed the land laughing at its victory of taking my parents away from me. I banged my leg on the ground, instead it hit a pointy rock and started to bleed. I didn’t even care. I wanted to cry and fight at the same time.

But who would I fight? Earth? That was not humanly possible. So I was left with the second option. Cry. A flood of memories rushed to me. The warmth and comfort of sleeping on dad’s lap, mom’s lullabies, the bedtime stories, their so called “quotes for life”, his wit and gut and patience. I was never gonna see them again. I screamed so loud in agony, I think the earth below me trembled a little. For a second, I even felt something sliding over my foot. But I didn’t even feel like seeing what it was. I gathered myself somehow and whispered “I miss you” hoping they’d hear it wherever they were.

 Reality rushed in then. I’d completely lost track of time. I was already late. I rushed to my tempo-truck that I’d received as a family hand-down. I had to drive fast for my walk in interview as a geology teacher in college. It was a job I didn’t fancy much, but really wanted now. As I pushed my foot on the accelerator, I felt something slimy slide up. I immediately pushed the break and the truck stopped with a loud screech.

I bent down to see a disgusting yellow-orange amoeba like creature. It must have climbed up my leg when I was screaming. I could actually feel its heart beat at the exact center of its body. Eww. I took a paper from my bag, grabbed it in the paper and threw it as far away from me as possible. Just as I was about to turn away, I saw it changing course and coming right back at me like a boomerang. Clearly, it didn’t have any wings. How the hell did it come back then?

I took the truck in reverse, held it in the paper and this time, placed it carefully on the ground. Then returned. I opened the door to my truck, and it slid right before me into the driving seat. It was creepy. It wouldn’t leave me. Why?! Scared and baffled, I got down the truck and closed the door shut. I saw it struggling to get out of the shut window. Somewhere inside I silently thanked God for not letting it pass through the glass like a ghost. It was sealed within and I was wondering what to do with it. It was really petite. It seemed more like skin color now, but I could swear it was orange-ish a few minutes before. A color changing amoeba-like creature. Hmm. Maybe I didn’t need to be afraid of it at all. It was way smaller than me anyways. I got in the truck from the other side, and slowly slid it into the empty wafer wrapper and then stapled it on the top. I was sure it wouldn’t follow me now. I threw the wrapper out and drove right to my interview without giving it a second glance.

I was a full 10 minutes late. I ran up to the principal’s office and he sure didn’t seem happy. I’d lost my first impression already. That got me all worked up and nervous. “Please have a seat” the principal said. I was glad I didn’t tumble on that floor given all those nerves I had. “I’m so sorry for being late sir. My car broke down.” I had to give that excuse. I couldn’t just say “oh I was trying to get rid of a tiny creature that wouldn’t leave me”! The rest of the interview continued formally, without any lies.

“Ms. Koyna, we will be short listing three teachers, who will have to take a lecture in class, in our presence. We’ll let you know in two days, which ones of you are selected. Thank you.”  Okay, that was my cue to leave. That was smooth. I was relieved that I finally had one good interview. I was feeling a little confident.

I was finding my truck keys in my purse, when I heard the most soothing familiar voice. “I haven’t seen that smile in a while!” “Roran!!” I was so glad to see him again! Roran was my neighbour who’d moved recently to town for some biological research work. He was twenty-eight, fine heighted, dark haired and had a huge smile. “It’s been so long! What are you doing here?” we said in harmony, and then laughed for saying the same things. There was nothing funny about it, but I guess it’s ok to laugh for no apparent reason when you’re with friends!

“Well, the principal of this college is my part-time colleague in the research. But what are you doing here?” “I was here for an interview”. “Do you want me to put in a word for you?” Hm. Did I want the job? Yes. Did I want it solely on recommendation? No. It was best to just talk about it later. “How long are you home?” I asked him, really hoping his answer would be ‘forever’. “A few months, a year maybe” he said, biting his lip. “Come on, I’ll show you where I live”, he said. I smiled and he nodded. I opened the door of my truck when I accidentally stepped on plastic. I looked down, it wasn’t just some plastic. It was a wrapper. The wafer wrapper with the creature in it…

Cast for Twisted me!!!

Here is my dream cast and cover of Twisted me!!!

Links to chapters::

chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5

Cast is in order of appearance:

Koyna

Shikhar

Roran

Mr. H

sas chp 12

CHAPTER 12 - the goodbye
Dravya was so angry that he wasn’t paying attention to me. It was a risk I’d taken. He could’ve escaped like he did with Shera. But I didn’t give him time to think. I stroked my own heart, twice. Or rather, I saw myself plunging my heart twice. Because immediately after I instructed my brain, I left my body…
I wasn’t sure if I could pull this off all by my own. But I did. I couldn’t see myself, because I had no body. I had no eyes. I was just a presence, just a soul; a bodiless soul. But still, I could see. I could see everyone surrounding my body and crying in pain. Aksha lost her voice, I hoped it was temporary. She tried waking me up like I was asleep and will open my eyes soon. John held my hand, silently crying. Clark and Martika were crying heavily. All the other guardians were watching with speculation. I tried to speak, to tell them that I was alive I was right here. But I couldn’t, probably because I had no physical ‘vocal cords’. I could only see and hear stuff. I couldn’t touch anything, neither could I speak. I gave up trying to convince them I was here and moved, or rather drifted, to the other way. Armaan was standing still, like a statue in the same pose. He didn’t even go near my body. Nevertheless I could see pain in his eyes. I’d seen him break down twice today, both times he cried. His eyes silently grieved. But seeing me there, he didn’t shed a tear. He felt bad, I could see that, but didn’t shed a single tear. I wasn’t so important to him I suppose, though, I expected at least one tear.
As I drifted nearer to him, his head snapped up. At first I thought he recognized me, but then I saw him taking a defensive position. More offensive, may I add. He took out some bottle from his shoulder bag. From what I assumed, it was a soul-extinguisher or something. Guardians could sense a soul. But they couldn’t guess who it is, since souls are not actually tangible. Was he really going to kill me? I might as well have died with Dravya within. “You killed two of the people I loved the most in this world…” he growled, assuming I was Dravya, who managed to escape again. Two people, Shera and his dad. No mention of me anywhere. Clearly my death didn’t affect him at all. “Both of them were closest to me. And now, when I thought I was about to fall in love for the first time, you’re the reason I lost her too…” With that line he opened the bottle. My instinct said that I should flee, but I stayed. Shocked by his words, and I saw more tears trickling down his face. I felt like crying myself, but obviously, I couldn’t. He was ready to run, chase, but became surprised when I didn’t move.
 “Why haven’t you moved? I’m gonna kill you!” What was he thinking? Talking to Dravya? Asking him why he was so still? Very mature Mr. Devoul.  Well, he was smart. He figured Dravya wouldn’t stay in one place and wait for him to attack. “You’re not Dravya are you?” Well, how was I supposed to answer? I couldn’t speak. I just passed through him. Right through him, through his heart. I half expected a breeze to flow, guitars to play but none of that happened. He remained sweaty, muddy and bloody, and I still remained, well, a ghost.
But somehow, he felt it. That’s what's important, right? “Sana…” he whispered my name, and I felt something. Even if I didn’t have a heart at the moment, I still felt it. He smiled, for the first time and my heart stopped. Damn! I kept forgetting I didn’t have a heart now, but I had a similar feeling. He turned around to tell everyone, and that’s when we both saw the others still crying over my dead body. He soon gathered himself and said, “Sana, you’re no longer human.” While he said that, he looked straight at me. “I don’t think telling them would be a great idea. Souls turn corrupt when they search for soul hosts. If you did find a willing soul host, trust me, I’m willing enough to share mine with you, you’d still become immoral one day.” I can see what he was saying, all the legends said that souls, one free from their body, lose their characters. Maybe because they wouldn’t have a brain to think and heart to listen to. And there was no point giving everyone false hopes that I would return one day.
I didn’t even know how to host a body. I drove once more through Armaan’s heart and sped away from the cave. I had to get away from here. I went unnoticed. Until I reached the forest boundary. I knew this is where souls couldn’t cross. Since I was a soul now too, it stopped me as well. When I tried again, nothing changed. Well, I gave it a last try, and this time I passed it easily. I turned around and found Armaan walking. So he’d controlled this then. “Go Sana, go far away where the guardians won’t find you. Else, they’ll kill you. You’re just like any other soul to them, they won’t be able to differentiate. Even if I tell them it’s you, they won’t believe that I ‘feel’ it’s you. With no concrete proof, they’ll slay you”
He had concern for me. He wanted me alive, tangible or not. His tears hadn’t stopped yet. This was a goodbye from him. He didn’t leave, and that satisfied me. I left soon, and he was still standing there. I was wondering what to do with myself, when it struck me. All souls don’t turn bad. A secret that I hadn’t shared with anyone out there was that Shera’s soul lived in Tiara. I could do something like that. I needed to gather some information. But I couldn’t research in Phargadh anymore, the guardians would simply kill me. Well, the universe was a huge place. I was sure I’d find help somewhere. I was glad to know Tia was safe now, and so were the others. I almost flipped out when I realized I’d put my parents through so much. I wished they could handle this loss. I decided to visit them once, before I could start my quest. Damn, I wished I had my GPS at least. Well, I had been successful in stopping an evil spirit at least. Here I was, a free soul. Ready for my quest for knowledge on souls and soul hosts…

sas chp 11

CHAPTER 11 - i'm dead
The stroke between midnight and dawn was about to strike. Given that it is the strongest, most powerful time, I had to start at that particular moment. “What we need to duplicate a soul, along with will power, some chants and a little blood, is a pentagonal crystal which radiates the mixed energy of the sun and the moon. Shera had hidden that crystal in the cave, which not so unfortunately, I found. I liked her hiding place, so I didn’t change it. Take the car straight to the cave Kumar. That’s where we are headed.” He still hadn’t recovered from all the shocking news I’d just given him. A small part of me wondered what he’d do if he knew about it earlier.
I ordered Kumar to carry the sack. As I entered the cave, I started walking straight towards the wall. It was full of illustrations, which a layman would never have understood. I asked Kumar to unload Tiara out of the sack. He did so obediently. She soon started fluttering her eyelids. I used the newly bought gloves to take out the crystal very carefully from behind an intelligently camouflaged rock. If I wanted to know the way the things worked with Tiara, I had to get a look at Tiara’s soul from within. But it was not a very wise plan. What if Shera suddenly became active and threw some stunt like last time? So I thought of something else instead.
I was planning to send Kumar in Tiara’s body. He had no control over his soul what so ever. I’d teach him the techniques, learn stuff from him, and then kill the girl, thus taking care of both their souls. I started chanting the usual lines. It wasn’t magical, but it stirred up some energy, some vibrations which strengthened my will and motive. I knew this procedure would make me physically weak temporarily, so I’d also arranged for sugar beforehand.
A tiny screeching voice broke my concentration. I could feel myself fading away. I felt extremely weak. I ate some sugar too, but there was no improvement.  Unable to understand what’s happening, I let go of control over Sana’s body. A minute wouldn’t harm, right? After all Sana was completely unaware of my plans since she had no knowledge of how souls worked. A minute, sixty seconds to be precise. I let Sana be herself again, and decided to rest after informing Kumar the same. I asked him to hide, just so that Sana has no questions about him. Her curiosity would only complicate things.
Sana’s POV:
I was myself again! Lately I’d been comparing myself with an alien in my body, but I was me. I remembered Clark’s every word very clearly. He’d said things like “resist”, “peek into his soul”. And I had actually done that. I never even knew I was actually capable of that. Just like Dravya had been silently monitoring me from within, I did the same to him. He was far too ignorant to believe that a nobody like me could play a trick on him. His over-confidence helped me. I felt like pouring my heart out to someone. I felt so… wrong. Dravya had killed Tia’s mom. The one who’d murdered her mother, was within me. It was me, in a way. But this was no time for supernatural stuff and its resulting guilt. ‘You are Sana. Think of people who love you, and those whom you love’. These were words which had motivated me throughout the night and the day till now.
I never would’ve thought that this field trip of ours was actually Kumar sir’s plan to help Dravya acquire my body. And Armaan was Kumar’s sir’s son?? How on earth was that possible?
I heard a screeching voice and ran towards it. There they were, Clark, Armaan and some other guys and women who I was sure, were guardians. They gathered around me, walking in a very threatening way. “You found me!” I yelped in surprise. I spotted Aksha, Martika and John behind all the guardians. All of them looked puzzled, except for Mr. Devoul who looked absolutely sure about wanting to destroy me right here, right now. Armaan looked at Tiara, his eyes full of concern and protectiveness. And then his eyes shifted towards me again, fierce and wild. He took one step towards me and my heart started racing, out of fear. “No! Stop! It’s me Sana, not Dravya”. All of them looked at me expectantly like I had something else to say. What was I supposed to but?
“Tell us something only Sana would know?” One of the guardians suggested. I started blabbering about all the movies I saw with Aksha, the hot chocolate, the night outs… But Armaan cut me off mid-answer, “Everything that Sana knows, this so called ‘Dravya’ knows. He’s peaked into her soul.” He made sense actually, but what else could I do to prove the truth. I was sure now that Dravya wasn’t his real name, but it didn’t matter at the moment. Thankfully, Clark’s thoughts were positive, “Wait Armaan.” He turned towards me. “Sana, tell me the last sentence I told you before ‘Dravya’ took over you? You were resisting him at that time so I’m pretty sure, he was blocked out. That was easy. “Peek into his soul" you’d told me. “And I did! I need to talk to you guys about what I know. It’s of urgent priority that you hear me out. But I’m only talking to the two of you. Since the matter is too confidential.” I gestured towards Mr. Devoul and Clark.
I was so glad, they finally accepted the truth and walked over with me. They told me that they’d planted a tracker on me and that’s how they found me. God knows when they did it, but thank God they did! “One minute is up and Dravya is trying to take over me. I’m blocking him as much as I can, but I don’t know how long I can do that. I didn’t know how I scanned his acts this entire time, but I did. And this is the information I gathered-”. I told them all about how the ‘thing’ they were protecting is long since gone from the container it was held in. That it was a powerful pentagonal crystal. And that Dravya was on the hunt for the knowledge of duplicating souls, but all he’d managed was splitting it.” Even I knew what havoc would’ve been created on earth if evil souls were copy-pasted.
However, I skipped the part where Shera had duplicated herself in Tia. It was wrong that she’d interfered in life and death matters. Although I was kind of glad she did. Otherwise, I never would’ve met Tia. Plus, she was talented enough to let her soul be hidden from the guardians as well. Why let her efforts go waste? But if this entire drama was a result of dangerous knowledge being shared, I assumed ignorance was bliss for everyone; especially after knowing that Clark was, in fact, lured in for selfish purposes once.
I turned towards Armaan, “I know now why you’re so protective of Tia. You were supposed to be on the safeguarding duty the day Shera was murdered. And trust me when I say this, I’ve seen in Dravya’s thoughts how powerfully she fought. She wasn’t killed. She sacrificed herself hoping that Dravya, who was within her, would die too. But he escaped. And if you really were on her place that day, Dravya would’ve taken care of you then and there and the entire mission would’ve slipped he would have succeeded in duplicating souls that night itself.” For the first time, and probably the last, I saw a tear roll down his cheek. Uhm, correction: make that two, followed by two more. “And that’s not it Mr. Dev- Oh I mean Armaan, there’s something you should know.” Both Clark and Armaan snapped their heads up at me. “Armaan, your dad. I didn’t know he was your dad, he was actually our professor, but he is Dravya’s alliance. And even worse, Dravya’s gonna kill him after he gets what he wants.” I must’ve blurted that out pretty fast since I could see it took a few seconds for them to give me a response. Two more tears. If the situation wasn’t so critical, I think I would’ve video shooted him crying, just to blackmail him in the future, just for fun.
On second thoughts, maybe I wouldn’t. He was always rude to me, always a monster. But it was all for Tia, to keep her safe. I didn’t even realize when I wiped his tears and assured him everything was going to be okay soon. I silently wished so too. When he looked back at me, I could see a broken Armaan. Somehow, it broke my heart to see him like that. My heart started racing again, and this time it wasn’t out of fear. “That’s not the only reason I care for Tia. She’s a great kid. And Shera was an amazing person. Good at work, good at everything. I respected her. She was my inspiration. Sometimes I wished she was my mother.” He spoke through his sobs. No I definitely wasn’t recording this on camera. Plus, I missed my parents too, Aksha’s mother too. Once we were out of this mess, I hoped we’d live a happy carefree life like before.
“How dare you ruin my plan!!” I was threatening myself. Okay, that wasn’t good. I thought I’d blocked Dravya but apparently he was more powerful than I thought. “Armaan go and find your dad. Tell him this to get out of this mess. Dravya will kill him” That was me speaking now, obviously. Armaan started to follow my instructions, when Dravya spoke again, “What’s the big hurry? I’ll make things easier for you. Come here Kumar” I called, err I mean Dravya called. He stepped out. He was just as shocked to see his son as a guardian. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he yelled at me, and I felt even more congested. That’s when I realized what was happening. Dravya was taking the other half of his soul back. In a few seconds, I realized that Dravya’s entire soul was within me and it was impossible to block him now. But I wasn’t giving up, so we were in power with each other. I had two distinct parts at the moment: the seen, and, the unseen.
I could read his mind so I knew what he was upto. “Armaan save your-” but it was too late. Kumar sir was crumpling on the floor. “What’s happening?” Amraan shouted. “I’ve crushed your beloved father’s soul from within, he’s dying. And there’s nothing you can do about it”. Both Clark and Armaan bent over Kumar sir, “I never stopped loving you son” were his last words and his breathing stopped. If I thought I’d seen a tear in Armaan’s eyes, I was now seeing an ocean of tears. I was shocked as well, and Kumar sir had been a good professor. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Armaan got up and went somewhere, but I was vaguely aware of it. I was also vaguely aware of all the hands. The other guardians had got a hold on me. That was the only way to catch Dravya, physically at least. Dravya chuckled, making me look so evil that I saw Martika gasping. Dravya was now silently planning. He wasn’t letting me know what he was thinking. Although for a microsecond, his train of thoughts spilt. He was planning to divide his soul again, assuming they’d kill me soon. So at least he’ll have a backup.
That’s when I felt the cave shake with an ear-splitting shuttering sound. “NO!!!!!” Dravya yelled. I was looking straight into Armaan’s fiery eyes. He’d destroyed the crystal with the usual guardian weapons. “HOW DARE YOU ARMAAN… I’LL KILL YOU!” Dravya said. He took advantage of the distraction and pulled out a knife from one of the guardians that were holding me. I took advantage of this situation and before I could take another step towards Armaan, I gave my brain instructions to plunge it right in my heart, now that Dravya’s soul was completely in me. Two times I plunged the knife, just to be sure.

sas chp 10

CHAPTER 10 - hidden secrets
My inner anger was at its peak now. The soul really did not want me getting any information. Resisting the soul again seemed too tiring and impossible. The internal fight was unknowingly taking a toll on my physical health. I let go of myself, with a last minute decision regarding what I was going to do.
Finally I could take over Sana's body again. She was trying to resist me. She'd been talking to Clark, Shera’s colleague. I always silently monitored her from within. This time it had gone too far, she'd gained too much information. After Shera's daughter and Armaan, the chief was the one I would target.
 I was tied onto the chair. Smart. No doubt I was strong as steel. But as long as I was tied to this weak body, I had physical barriers.
I had the perfect plan. They knew who I was now. Never mind though. All I had to do was to pretend like I was Sana. "Guys, I think it's a lot for today. We'll continue this tomorrow. Please untie me, I'm very tired. I wanna sleep." Sometimes it was a headache to talk like today's generation. Good thing I managed it well. Everyone believed me. I was free. I walked along with the girl who Sana was always so attached to. She kept talking to me, full of sympathy, swearing about Dravya i.e. me. I had so many targets lined up, one adding each minute.
To avoid spectators, I chose to leave when the other two girls were asleep. I walked to the door wondering if I should kill them now or leave it for later. Their screams would probably wake Armaan and Clark. Clark may have been a talented and skilled chief, but I knew his secret. And that  alone was enough to deal with him. I'd get to him once I was finished with Shera's daughter.
I went straight to the one human I could trust. Kumar. He had played his part well in getting Sana to me. A part of my soul was in Sana, true. But the other was in Kumar. He had willingly given up his body, lured in by my lies of giving him an eternal life, like mine. However, I liked residing in Kumar’s body than my other victims body. The one I’d used to meet Sana as ‘Dravya’. He was long gone at this point of time. Completely taken care of.
"Welcome. How did you manage to get out of there? And what’s in this sack?" He was curious, but I didn't give him any details. "You've not completed your task efficiently Kumar. You bought the girl to me, but she managed to meet Clark and his student. She is aware of everything that's going on here." He looked aback. I left no chance to abase him. He looked vulnerable. Good. "I'm sorry master. I should have taken care of it." He knelt in his usual style and bowed. I wished I could hurt him, real bad. With shoes, probably a belt, or nails for that matter. But I reconsidered my plan given the fact that half my soul was in him. He was an efficient soul host, yet weak before me. The perfect target host. If I found a few more fools like him, I'd be on the top of the world in no time. I asked him to keep the bag in his car.
"I'm not gonna let go of Sana's body now. It's important that she doesn't find a way out. The time is nearing. Just a few more hours, and the tables will turn." He looked at me, dreading the future. He didn't know anything. But he knew I was up to something deadly. I’d asked Kumar to find me Shera’s lookalike. That was the only way I could reach her daughter, Tiara. She was otherwise so protected, with her guard always up. Armaan was always around her and he’d curbed many of my previous attempts to reach her. Kumar had done a good job with Sana. She looked a lot like Shera, and just like I expected, Tiara talked to her. She never talked to anyone, her extended family, her friends, no one. That made her even more difficult to get. Sana was the perfect bait.
I needed to wait for the perfect time, the strongest time, the time when forces of both, the sun and the moon would be in favor. At the stroke between midnight and dawn. But before that, I needed some prerequisites. I couldn’t do this alone. “Kumar, come here son”. He was such a beautifully loyal dog. Since I was going to kill his soul in a few hours, I thought of giving him a brief about what was going on. Despite of his constant begging to tell him what my plan was, I’d declined. Tonight I’d tell him. Not the part where I’d kill him though. “We need to go somewhere. Come on.” He followed me like a little puppy, not that he was really very different from that. “Tonight I’ll tell you all about it. About what my plan is.” I didn’t see him but I was sure his eyes popped out of his face in surprise. “We’re going to where it is all hidden.”

 “We’re approaching the secret I’ve been after for so many years. The ultimate power. The secret that the guardians are guarding. But I never knew until today, that they didn’t even know what they were looking after.” It made me chuckle devilishly. Kumar started driving his Volkswagen. “Shera knew it, and her highness, Kshar. Those two were the highest ranking officers of their time. Shera had guarded it well. She’s surrounded it by all kinds of positive energy. It was impossible for an evil soul like me to go anywhere near it. That’s when I targeted Clark.” Even more surprise on Kumar’s face. He didn’t know his son Armaan too was on their clan now, and I was going to make sure he didn’t learn about it. I’d kill him before that. And by killing him, I mean, kill his soul. His body was important. Many many bodies were important.
“I tricked him into believing that if he’d help me, I’d bring his dead wife back to life. He loved her so much that he forgot all about his duty. He took me there, agreeing to be my soul host. Through his body, I could easily pass the positive energy protection cloud. I’d almost reached the place, when Shera appeared out of nowhere. Man, she was good in her work. From what knowledge I gathered, some other boy was supposed to be there, but in his absence, Shera took over. Such wrong timing the boy had. If it was anyone other than her, I would’ve succeeded that night itself.” The ‘boy’ was none other than Armaan, or Mr. devoul like Sana liked to call him. I actually liked that name. Though it kind of suited me more than him. But no way was I telling Kumar that his son was involved in any of this. He looked at me, silently urging me to continue with the story. I did. “She had really good negotiation skills. She convinced me to leave Clark’s body. She had these womanly charms, mixed with her negotiation skills, and bragged me with taking over her body. I did let go of Clark. Only then did I realize that she lied to me. The other boy came after that, to the rescue of his colleagues. Shera instructed him to take Clark out of here, and he obeyed. She put up a good fight, but she was human after all, weak. I managed to get into her. I finally gained access to all her mysteries. I had no idea a soul has so much enigma.”
I directed Kumar to drive to the city and buy me some doctor gloves and sugar. I checked that the sack was safe in his cars backseat. He was surprised at this combination but obeyed me. Once he got in the car, his curiosity shot right out of his mouth. “So what was it? What were the secrets she was hiding?”
“Shera had a husband and a daughter, Tiara. After a year that Tiara was born, she was hospitalized. She was diagnosed with some disease and she lay on the death bed. Shera started her research then. She was already a guardian, so she explored the soul world completely now. Somehow she found some ways to duplicate souls. She experimented it for several days and when she was absolutely sure, she duplicated Tiara’s soul. In about two minutes, Tiara’s duplicate soul died and her plan failed. The original soul within her was critical. If Tiara’s body died, so would her soul. So she duplicated her soul as well. And she planted her other soul in Tiara. Even today, Shera literally lives, within her daughter. But she has been so subtle that no one doubts Tiara to be a soul host. Even the guardians don’t see Shera’s soul in Tiara. Because she’s not active, she only lives to keep Tiara alive.” Kumar stopped the car. Digesting what I just said. I asked him to drive right into the forest. I think he was surprised, again, because he expected a drive somewhere far far away. But all the mysteries were right here, right in the forest where we all lived. The souls, and the guardians.
“As I reached this confidential information Shera’s original soul started rejecting me. Then she thought better, and picked up the gun. I was completely inside her body. She kept the gun on her head. If she killed herself, I’d die too. This information I’d gained from her was too crucial, and apparently more important than her life. She couldn’t risk me having this knowledge, knowing what I could do. Thanks to my quick response and thinking, a microsecond before she pulled the trigger, I left her body. Her sacrifice went in vain, though I must admit, she was pretty clever. Exactly in the center of the forest, in the cave behind the waterfall, there is something written on the walls that gives the procedure. I tried doing everything it said, to duplicate my soul. But all I could do is split it. Half of which lives in you Kumar. Once I have Tiara, I can experiment in and out of her. Then I’ll know what is missing.” “But master” Kumar said, “how will we get Tiara? I mean she’s all protected right?”. Now I smirked. We already have her, I said “She’s, in the sack in your backseat. I sedated and snuck her out on the way to your place.”

sas chp 9

CHAPTER 9 - monster in me
I missed him by a few inches. The knife didn’t plunge the boy in the heart, instead the boy’s shoulder was bruised. Damn. This guy was getting to my nerves. When I realized what had happened, my anger only ascended. Armaan had punched me away. Armaan, Kumar’s son. He was so unlike his father. Kumar was helping me but Armaan? Always in my way. That boy was going to die soon. Painfully. The other two girls were now in my way. “Stop it Sana! No! Are you crazy!” they kept saying. Silly girls.  Hardly aware that I wasn’t Sana anymore.  I looked at one of them and went for her throat. I looked straight in her eyes, to scare her more. But her eyes were familiar. She was someone I knew. Someone close to me.
 “Sana, listen to your heart. Believe in yourself. You’re Sana. Wake up” the chief kept saying. He repeated it again. And again. And again. I was feeling… distributed. Who was I? It was exhausting. I was sweating. Excruciating pain was taking over me. I managed to open my eyes somehow, I crippled on the ground. John was hurt. His arm was bleeding. Aksha and Martika stood far away from me. Clark and Armaan were by my side. Armaan had pinned me on the ground by one arm. I was so tired that I gave in. Once again I could feel unconsciousness circling me. Once again, things started fading. I was longing to give up all the consciousness I had. I was longing to be numb.
This time when I woke up, I was tied in handcuffs and on a chair like I was a criminal. Completely tied. All of them had circled me. Clark, Armaan urghhh, Aksha, John and Martika. “What’s your name?” Clark asked all worked up. I’d never heard him so angry before. “You know me Clark” I said, confused. “Just needed to check”. He assured me everything was fine. “Why am I a Mummy, all tied up like this?” I managed to ask with whatever strength I had left.
For the first time in my life, Armaan spoke to me with no bitterness and only concern. I knew for sure the concern was for Tiara, but I was surprised at the no-bitterness part. It was so quiet that his voice had a little echo effect. “We’ve been thinking a lot about what’s happening. Before you go all hyped up again, just keep this in mind- it is afraid of the knowledge you might gain. Now let’s begin. Clark, please take over.” Huh? What did that mean? Clark got up from his chair and paced around. “Okay” he started. “Just listen to it like it’s a story okay. A long time ago, there were a bunch of people who were talented. Very talented. They could separate their body and souls. Don’t be surprised, it’s true” I think he added the last sentence looking at my expression. “I’m not surprised Clark. Just tell me this. Is this the story where some souls turned evil, used human bodies for their selfish purposes, and soul destroyers got rid of them until they mysteriously died?”
All eyes were on me now, taken aback. “How do you know this?” Aksha was the most curious of them all. I told her of my little trip with Dravya. “Dravya’s the one who met you at the forest that night right?” yes, I said and I turned to Armaan and Clark telling them like they didn’t already know. “He’s a guardian too right. He helped me twice out of that forest.” They gave me a blank look. “Chief, are there any undocumented guardians? I’ve never heard of that one before.” Clark shook his head. “Did he say anything else to you?” “Uhm no apart from the story he only told me that the best way to resist a soul from entering you is to keep your mind free and relaxed all the time.”
“It’s him. I knew it was him” Armaan was all worked up now. “First Tia’s mom and now this stupid girl.” “How dare you call me stupid Armaan? You’ve been judging me since the day you met me. You’re moronic!” I wished I could get up from that chair and just snap him like a twig. The anger was ascending again. John sat far away from me and he hadn’t spoken a word since. His arm was covered in bandages. Reality came dawning on me and I remembered what I’d done earlier today. I’d attacked him… and my best friend too. I didn’t want to but I had. I started apologizing. I think it was out of the blue for them ‘cuz they looked really surprised.
“We must finish what we started” Clark said and everyone settled down. “Sana remember this every time you feel angry. Calm down and resist foreign forces in your body, mentally. Focus on yourself. On who you are. On whom you love. And on those who love you and care for you. Never ever ever, ever ever resist resisting. Now, you already know about souls and soul hosts. We need to tell you that your soul is impure." He said with a stern look on his face. I spoke before he continued with his next sentence. “I had an idea about that. Although at first I thought Armaan was the soul” He rolled his eyes and for the first time I saw him smiling genuinely, only a little though. Clark stifled a laugh and continued anyway, “First you need to understand the concept. Uptil now, it worked this way. A soul completely enters a body, all at once, so that the body has two souls. Then they gain complete control over their brain, act as they want and then leave their body. But your case is different. The soul in you is only partial. It’s not completely in you. Maybe its experimenting something. Even we don’t understand this.”
“Stop it Clark, you dare not speak another word or I’ll kill you” the heat within me was increasing every minute. “Don’t tell me anything, I don’t need to know” What was I saying? I wanted to know. Unable to stop the pain in my head, I recalledwhat Clark had told me. Instead of relaxing my mind, I tried resisting the foreign forces. I tried to calm down and think about my family, friends and Tiara. It took a lot of concentration and patience and strength. Something weird happened within me. I felt like I was overpowering someone else. Someone I couldn’t see. Someone already within me. When I managed to peek through my eyes, I was myself again. It was tough, I was very much alert, my will-power strong and my inner guard was up. I had to concentrate but I didn’t lose myself this time. I found myself grinning over my little win. "Please continue” I said to Clark. When I glanced up, everyone was staring at me. “It’s a good thing we tied her up” Martika said in her high pitched noise. “For a second I thought you were going to break those ropes and the cuffs” she said with her eyes enlarged. “Really?” I couldn’t believe that. I was concentrating on my inner fight so much that I was unaware how I was acting physically.
“You actually tried what I asked you to” Clark said amused. Armaan’s expression was even more tougher and full of disapproval. He wanted me dead. “Yes” I said to Clark and thanked him. “okay then let’s continue. That little soul within you is responsible for your monstrous acts. It’s not you, it’s the soul. Remember that. The only reason it makes you angry is that we think it is afraid to let you know anything about itself. Until now, the soul peeked in yours and knows stuff about you. We think that…” Clark looked doubtful, like he shouldn’t have said that. I was getting angry again but I suppressed it like last time. “We think that you can know stuff about it too. That’s the only way we’ll know what the soul is experimenting. If you don’t do it within time, it might… I mean, we’re not sure but that’s what usually happens. A soul host doesn’t live long.”
“So that means I’m gonna die soon?” I asked in a low broken voice. I could see Aksha holding back her tears. She came nearer to me but maintained a safe distance. Thank god. “We can only guess” Clark said in his deep sad voice. “We should kill her right now, if it’s the same soul, it’ll go for Tiara again” Armaan was so dead once I left this chair. And this wasn’t my inner monster, it was me. Why was he so keen on killing me? “The soul will take over her and she’ll be the one responsible for Tiara’s death” Armaan gritted through his teeth. “I’ll never hurt her” I screamt but it was like he was deaf towards me.
“Stop that Armaan. Only a part of the soul is within her. If we kill her, the soul will still remain. It makes no sense. You’re only acting like that because Tiara’s life is at stake here. I know you’re very attached to her. And it’s not your fault you couldn’t save her mother. Really, you tried, but souls are powerful Armaan. Please, think rationally”. “What?!” I squealed, “her mother died because of a soul?” I hated that. Poor Tiara. I remembered the look on her face when I asked her about her mother the first time I met her. And she talked to me only because I looked like her mom. Tiara…
"I'm ready to do anything to keep tiara safe" I said, absolutely sure. "But first tell me what happened to her mom? And why is the soul after her? She's just a baby"  "I was coming to that part" was Clark's calm reply. Armaan looked like tougher than before. His eyes burnt.  "Tiara's mother was a guardian too. And an extremely talented one mind you. She could take down double the souls compared to the others. She was almost as good as our high chief Kshar. That's the reason she was second in line there. Initially we didn't know that souls could interact with others of their kind. It Was Shera, Tiaras mother who discovered it, she had her own ways to negotiate and deal with them. And, when we call ourselves guardians, it’s not only humans that we protect. There's something else we guard. It’s a secret. Even guardians don’t know what it contains. But we know that if it is not protected, it might destroy lives. It has the power to abolish the entire human race off the face of earth.  The worst part is that some souls know about it. That’s what they are trying to reach. We believe, child, that you can tell us what exactly it contains. Shera died protecting it. It was the same soul who met you in the woods. The one you call Dravya, is a soul we suspect.” How did my day end up like this? I actually believed it. How did I believe that the one who saved me from the forest, was in fact an evil spirit?
I reconsidered the blame I had previously put on Armaan. Aksha broke the silence “Yes Sana, every time you returned from the forest, you looked miserable and angry. That first night we reached here you were not yourself. Next time you were mad at John when he met you after our hiking. This Dravya even lied to you about resisting souls.” She was in fact, right. It was hard to believe. Actually speaking, it wasn't hard to believe, but I didn't want to. “We can't be sure” I said. "Well Let's make you sure then. Peek into his soul."

sas chp 8

 CHAPTER 8 - what is happening?
When I started gaining consciousness little by little, I recalled everything that happened. Was I dead or alive? Was I in heaven, hell or earth? I tried opening my eyes but couldn’t. My eyelids seemed very heavy. I lay there in silence with my eyes closed for a few minutes, pretty sure now that I was alive. ‘We have to take the girl down’ Armaan had said. He planned on harming Tiara. No! I wouldn’t let him. But where was she?

I heard footsteps. I lay there silent, unable to do anything. I might as well pretend I’m still unconscious. “You can’t do this. Look at her. Does she look like she’s completely lost herself?” a voice said. I hadn’t heard Armaan’s voice much but this wasn’t his. It was someone elder than him. However, he replied and I knew it was him from his husky voice. “Tia told me that her name was Sana.” So now he nicknamed Tiara? How dare he? I’d nicknamed him too. I liked calling him Mr. Devil soul. Even better, I’d call him “Mr. devoul”, like devil and soul put together.

“She didn’t harm her. I can see she’s not completely gone. But she’s impure. We all can see that. This is something beyond our understanding. I’ve never seen anything like this before. She could be a threat. I don’t think keeping her captive is a good option. Like I said, we might as well take her down. We need to kill her chief. Plus, she’s so close to Tia. I can’t let her hurt her.” I hoped I was dreaming. Mr. devoul wanted to kill me to protect Tiara from me? Was he crazy? Why did he keep calling me impure? The chief spoke now, “Armaan, she’s mixed. We’ll figure out what this is but she needs to stay alive. Three of her friends followed her here because they care. If she was really a threat, she wouldn’t have them. Souls only hypnotize one person whose body they need. These three really care about her. I don’t think she’s dangerous. You’re being overprotective about Tia.”

I needed to bang my ears somewhere. Who had come for me? One would be Aksha of course. Who were the other two? Maybe Khushi was here. John wasn’t possible. Who was the third then. Perhaps it was Adhiraj or Hemant. Or maybe, just maybe it could it be Dravya. He always helped me when I was in trouble. It had to be him. The chief continued completely unaware of my inner thoughts, “We’re guardians. We need to protect all humanity. We have to stop the souls. A doctor does not kill a patient who has HIV. Even though the patient is going to die one day, a doctor treats him. Similarly, we can’t just kill her because we know she’s going to die. We’re not even sure, she might have a chance to live. We need to help her as much as we can. Anyways Armaan, it’s not safe to talk about any of this in front of her. Whether she is in her senses or not, if she hears any of this, ‘it’ might too. It’s best she doesn’t plan anything and remains unaware. Ignorance is bliss for her”. I think I was too stunned to even adjust myself to what I’d heard.

According to the chief I was going to die. Nothing was clear from the vague conversation about what was happening to me. I wasn’t even sure if this was a trick or they were actually telling the truth. I tried to open my eyes and failed again. My brain stopped working and I think I fell asleep. Because the next thing I remember is that I was waking up, not sure if all of that had been a dream. No, it wasn’t a dream, I thought. Because if it was, not even in my worst nightmare would I have thought that Armaan was a guardian like Dravya. He looked evil. Too bad he wasn’t.

I squinted my eyes and adjusted them to the sunlight. I was in a room. I wasn’t tied to a rope like I expected. I was on the floor and it was cold. I was shivering, not of anger or fright this time. I walked towards the door that I could see. Armaan’s chief sounded like a reasonable guy. I could talk to him. The door was closed but it wasn’t locked. I opened it and stepped outside. It was kind of a big party hall. The position of the sun told me it was a little after dawn. Armaan was standing there with an old guy. The chief, I guessed. They were having coffee like it was just a normal day. Well, it was, for them. When the chief heard me coming, he turned around and greeted me. With a handshake? It was weird.

He had a little-long white beard and he was lean. But not very old. He reminded me of ‘Dumbledore’ a little. “Hello Sana. That’s your name right?” he greeted me with a smile. “Uhm, yes” I said and now I turned to Armaan. He still hadn’t looked my way. Like he didn’t care. Huh, neither did I. He needed to answer me some questions though. “Hey you” I asked him straight. “Why on earth did you make me unconscious? And where’s Tiara?” “She’s safe, back where she belongs” he said, not bothering to answer my first question. “I asked you something else as well” I spat back. The chief soon interrupted our sour exchange of words politely. “Why don’t you have breakfast first? Then we can all sit and talk. Oh and by the way, my name is Clark. And before you ask, I’m not superman” he joked and winked playfully. “You need to learn a lot of things from your chief, especially manners” I mumbled really low, hoping he heard it. I think he did because his side glance was sourer than ever. Good. I smirked a little.

Clark took us to the other end of the hall. A table was already set there with six chairs. I clearly remembered what Clark had said. Three of my friends were here. Within two seconds I heard Aksha’s voice squealing my name. I was so happy to see her. I smiled from ear to ear and gave her a tight hug. “Thank god you’re safe!” she exclaimed. “We’re sorry we followed you. You acted so strange during lunch, even in the bus you ignored me. And you left the room before I could freshen up. How dare you missy?? That’s why we followed you. Are you okay?” So that’s what had happened. “I’m fine Aksha” I said, while I still wanted her away from this mess. “Where are the others?” I asked. “Ah! Here they come” she said and pointed behind me. I turned around to see John! He was here, after what happened at lunch!! “John, I’m so so-“ when I saw the person with him, I couldn’t complete my sentence. I was completely dumbstruck.

It wasn’t Dravya, neither was it Khushi. It was Martika. Martika! I couldn’t believe it. “What are you doing here?” I accused, rather than asking. “Actually Sana”, Aksha replied instead, “she was the one who bought us here.” “Re-pe-at” I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears. “She did notice your strange behaviour, and when I was in the washroom, she saw you leaving. She called me immediately and we left. On the way we met John, he was following you already. We just bumped into each other.” Now I looked at John. Very dramatically he put his hands up and said “I only wanted to confront you and ask you what’s the deal with you. You were going alone so I thought it’s the right time to talk to you”. I smiled. “Thank you guys, Martika, you too”. She only nodded rather than telling me how thankful I should be to her, throughout my life. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

We ate some food and I felt good. I didn’t even realize I was starving. Clark’s witty comments were enough to lighten up the mood. Mr. devoul was the only one who hadn’t smiled even once and kept giving me cold scowls, as usual. It reminded me of what he’d said about an impure soul. I wanted to ask them about it, and why they thought I was going to die. But every time I tried, an inner voice told me that I shouldn’t. The curiosity was killing me but I wasn’t allowing myself to say anything. That had never happened before. When I was in this inner dilemma, I heard Clark and John arguing over something. I didn’t even know how the commotion started. All of a sudden, John was up from his seat and asked me, “Come on tell me. Don’t you wanna know what’s gotten into you?” I was completely lost with where this conversation started. Now Aksha got up too. “John how could you? They told you this could be dangerous. You shouldn’t have said anything in front of her.” That left me shocked. What just happened?

“That’s enough” John said. “Listen Sana, you need to know what’s happening. You have a right to know.” I felt anger whirling inside me. I wanted to know but I didn’t want him to tell me. It was a crazy stir of emotions. “Listen, these two here. They’re guardians. And you have a…” he stopped mid-sentence and I was shivering, of anger this time. “Enough!” I growled. I could feel my face turning red. There was a knife on the side plate on the table. John didn’t deserve to live. I took the knife and attacked him.